Fun with Stereotypes

When reading many of the series previews between the Ducks and Predators, I found that many of them ignored the facts, and were based merely on stereotypes and a lack of factual knowledge. Many writers seem to be under the impression that the Anaheim and Nashville have never played a series before (we did in 2011) and that we still don't score goals (one of two teams with two 30-goal scorers) this year. 

That got me thinking about what the stereotype is for each team in the league. I've got jokes. Let's go.
  • Nashville Predators: You lead the team in goals. You play defense. It’s nice going to Whole Foods without being recognized, though.
  • Chicago Blackhawks: You woke up with the Stanley Cup, you have no idea where it came from or how you got here, and Vince Vaughn is making pancakes.
  • Philadelphia Flyers: You’re suspended.
  • Vancouver Canucks: You factor in embellishment fines in your yearly budget.
  • Los Angeles Kings: You’re the college kid who only comes on the last day of class, but aces the test anyway.
  • St. Louis Blues: You’re one of three goalies on LTIR
  • Detroit Red Wings: You joined the team because the jerseys are red like Mother Russia.
  • Dallas Stars: You scored the fifth team goal in an OT loss
  • Florida Panthers: You were placed here by the witness protection program.
  • Minnesota Wild: YA SIGNED WITH GOOD OL MENAHSOHTAH TAH BE CLOHSE TAH YER MAH AND PAH AND FAM’LY. YAH LOVE EM SO GOSH DARN MUCH. (Also, they offered $10 mil annually until you’re 47.)
  • Colorado Avalanche: Your Corsi statistics are under 40%, and your dad is a construction worker who had to retire after he cut off his last finger.
  • San Jose Sharks: You bought a Marco Rubio bumper sticker, and don’t know how to get it off.
  • Winnipeg Jets: You’re just so proud to be here
  • Montreal Canadiens: The most read literature on your bookshelf is your high school yearbook. All those memories of when you and your pals took state…
  • Toronto Maple Leafs: Your kids think your dad is cooler than you. He has a motorcycle and knows how to drive a stick shift.
  • Boston Bruins: Forty percent of your income actually comes from “unnamed sources.”
  • Carolina Hurricanes: You’re just as surprised to hear they have a cup win as they are.
  • Calgary Flames: You block more shots than your goaltender.
  • Edmonton Oilers: You started a “former face of the franchise” support group.
  • Ottawa Senators: Eating a plain McDonald’s hamburger that was thrown on the ice was the most exciting thing that’s happened in your career so far.
  • Pittsburgh Penguins: We don’t really pay attention to things like having a stereotype. Obviously, we’re just focused on the next game.
  • Anaheim Ducks: You keep insisting that your friends call you William now. 
  • Columbus Blue Jackets: Your epitaph simply reads “He was a nice guy.”
  • New York Islanders: Your landlord never fixed anything in your apartment, so you had to move to a smaller apartment, and now your bed doubles as a couch.
  • Buffalo Sabres: You’re a band from the 90s. You keep trying to sneak new stuff into your sets, but all anyone does is scream for the old stuff.
  • New Jersey Devils: That Springsteen ’84 tour shirt is still your favorite, and there are three things in your refrigerator. 
  • Tampa Bay Lightning: Your name is longer, and has more syllables, than your team name. Don Cherry sees your name in his nightmares.
  • Washington Capitals: You are wealthy, very fit, and charismatic. Everyone hates you.
  • Phoenix Coyotes: You majored in art history in university. You’re a barista now, but it’s cool. You know dad will pay off your loans.
  • New York Rangers: A great place to spend your retirement years.

Man do I love making fun of things. Ok, let's do the thing.

Fort Wayne Komets - Ryan C.

Positives: Colors are balanced well. Striping is conventional, but looks good. Name/numbers are easy to read. No execution flaws. 

Negatives: Personally, I don't like the number font. I see why Ryan chose, it but Minnesota's "fuzzy numbers" should probably fade into history.

Overall: This is a really solid Komets set. (8.5/10)

Michigan Wolverines Concept - 

Positives: The triple stripe on the alternate jersey is very interesting. I think that it could really go well with Michigan's unique helmet design. The alternate is the best jersey in the set. I'd really like to see the 'M' monogram logo on that jersey in blue, with a light version of that same jersey. Execution is very clean and professional. The contrasting stitching looks really cool.

Negatives: The home/away have problems. The main thing you notice is the dominance of piping all over the jerseys. The Reebok logo here hasn't been used on a hockey jersey in five years. Color balance on the white jersey is off, as yellow dominates what little blue there is. 

Overall: There are some really cool ideas here, but the dominance of piping (a design trend that I believe is mercifully on it's way out) holds the set back. (8/10)

LA Kings Third Jersey Concept - Jonny A.

Positives: The old crown can work on a new jersey, I believe it's superior to the newer crown logo that the Kings have used in recent years.

Negatives: No sleeve numbers; a rookie mistake. The captain's patch is too large, competing in size with the primary logo. The number/name are also too large. Any name longer than Doughty's, or a number past 9, wouldn't fit. The jersey itself is just a little boring. It's true that the Kings early jerseys used a very similar design, but the bright colors made it eye-catching. Without that, the jersey just sits there like a dull lump. A shoulder patch would help bring some interest. The contrasting hem isn't adding anything here.

Overall: The Kings can rock a silver jersey, but this one needs more drama to create interest. (6/10)

Louisville Riverfrogs ECHL Concept - Brooks F.

Positives: This is, I believe, the first Riverfrogs concept we've had on the site. Brooks, instead of fighting the dated logo aesthetic, elects to double-down and go full-90s. It's really jarring, but there's a lot of creativity here. It demands your full attention, and gets it. Execution is very good considering the organic design route taken. Couldn't you see this being a 90s ECHL Wild Wing-esque set? This is something you see on Ebay for $50 and you buy it in a heartbeat because you know the rarity and unique design makes it worth four times that. Brooks completely accomplished what he set out to do here, and that is capture the mid-90s zeitgeist.

Negatives: You know. He knows. You know he knows. He knows you know. You know that he knows that you know. He knows that you know that he kno..

Overall: We all know. I'm not wasting everyone's time pointing out the obvious. You either love it or hate it, but you'll never ignore it. I'd proudly own one of these. MORE PLEASE (9/10) COTW nomination from me!

San Francisco Bulls Concept - Brooks F.

Positives: The Bulls didn't last long, and never really had a memorable identity. The striping makes a lot sense here, as it makes you think of a bull's horns, and helps balance out the orange. The third that hearkens back to the old California Seals looks great. Execution is tight. Very solid work.

Negatives: Does anyone else hate that shade of gold with orange as much as I do? I don't even like how Anaheim pairs those colors together. 

Overall: Again, Brooks comes up with an unconventional, attention grabbing jersey set. Who knows, if the Bulls had used this, maybe they'd still be around. (8.5/10)

Nashville Predators Concept - Lucas D.

Positives: Colors are balanced pretty well. The very small anti-gold Nashville demographic (the ones who cling to their 2011 thirds like a helicopter landing skid in a Schwarzenegger movie) would appreciate it. 

Negatives: From a fan perspective, I don't want to see a blue alt, as it would contradict Nashville marketing and branding that is 100% focused on owning gold. The stars are awkward. The Tennessee state flag's tri-star only works when the stars are proportioned and spaced correctly, and here it looks off. The bottom star is too far down, and the top two are too close together. It feels forced. Striping is too conservative for a team that tends to be very progressive in it's designs.

Overall: It just doesn't feel like a Preds jersey. Flip the colors, and swoop the stripes instead of keeping them horizontal. Sublimate the stars on the cuffs. (7.5/10)

Washington Capitals Concept - TG

Positives: The Capitals are in need of a fresh set. People have been clamoring for them to adopt something similar to their throwbacks for ages now. This set by TG has plenty of that aesthetic without being just a straight throwback design. Execution and presentation are very clean and professional. That white jersey is crazy good; one to own.

Negatives: I think the yoke hurts the design on the home and alternate jerseys. Leave the stripes, but ditch the contrasting yoke. I think that would balance the colors better and make the jersey look less busy and chunky (if that last descriptor makes sense). I'm not sold on the alternate pants and helmet. If the alternate was radically different from the other two, I would be fine with it, but it's not. It's just a color-swapped jersey with a new logo. Just keep the pants/helmet from the home jersey and make life easier for the team equipment managers, and save the team some money.

Overall: There is a lot to love here. That white jersey could be a classic. It's the strongest of the three. (8.5/10)

I imagine my COTW choice will be met with some consternation. If you disagree, you can rectify my egregious error by nominating your own concepts! Second opinions are always welcome.

Get your entries in for our Roller Hockey International Contest! Can't wait to see the creativity in this one.

That's all for this week! Here are your voting reminders:


1st Quarter vote (ends Friday @ 11:59pm Eastern)
COTW Apr 10-16 vote (ends Friday @ 11:59pm Eastern)
RHI entries (due Friday @ 10:59pm Eastern)

Fun with Stereotypes Reviewed by Caz on April 17, 2016 Rating: 5


JJ Anderes said...

Caz's Capitals joke for COTW

Zeke G said...

Those stereotypes are spot on! Very funny.

Brooks F's SF Bulls concept for COTW

winnipegjets96 said...

I'll 2nd Brook's SF Bulls jersey. I like the Bullfrogs jersey, but the colour balancing between the white and blue jersey is off

Burkus Circus said...

More accurate stereotype for Columbus:
You score 30 goals one season, and 31 in the rest of your career.


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